MENTAL HEALTH > EVERYTHING

I think it's time to sit down, write a little blog post about my thoughts and chat about sh*t that I'm going through. I've always found that voicing my opinions and talking about how I'm feeling is the best thing for me personally in regards to recovering as quickly as possible. Also, I'd love to talk more openly about mental health both on here and my Youtube channels, to break the awful stigma mental health STILL has, even in 2018!? After battling depression last year and different levels of anxiety/panic attacks over the past five years, I've learnt a lot of things about myself and how to deal with specific uncomfortable situations that require a calmer mindset - I'm still, however, learning and continuing to grow into the mature, grounded woman that I aspire to be. I was unable to handle a recent situation that occurred whilst my boyfriend and I was on holiday - an unforeseen event happened during the evening and unfortunately, I was unable to cope with the aftermath so we had to book a return flight early. This was super heartbreaking for me, as I worked so so hard to save for the holiday, as well as constantly on-the-go and having no time to sit and relax. I was, and still am, gutted about flying home early but it was the best decision for our wellbeing and mental health...something that should ALWAYS come before anything. Even the holiday you'd be longing for!

Although I was sad to leave Greece behind and the amazing little discoveries we'd managed to find in the days we spent in Kefalonia, it was inevitable that a flight home needed to be booked. After the devastation of booking a return flight early and sadly packing all the new outfits I'd bought and wistfully gazing at the sea from our balcony, it was time to work on my mental health to get my head back to a better place. Reaching out to those around is the number one thing I turn to; however, I found it extremely difficult in this case because noone understood the situation or had ever endured what I went through that night. Having the sensitive little brain I do and being at an emotional time in my life, I found it difficult to cope with the events and found it even more frustrating that noone could empathise (which others may feel to a lot of mental health issues). However, after searching online and hearing similar stories, my mind was slightly put to ease. I've found that researching can hit you with the good, the bad and the ugly - you can educate yourself on the problem, find ways to resolve it, but also terrify yourself that it won't get better just by focusing on the bad stories. The doctors were the best place to go for me in this case; prescribing the best medication (that has seriously helped me) and recommending therapy (something I actually knew I needed and wanted after being left traumatised). 

One thing I've pushed myself to do in the past week since I've been back in England is to focus on the positives. Although flying back sucked, we still had an amazing few days exploring our little section of the island. We found a beautiful little cove, that we had all to ourselves for two hours on our last day. The sea was extremely clear, we fed the fish with bread we'd 'borrowed' from the hotel and basked in the sun. It was amazing that we had the opportunity to fly to somewhere new, experience a different culture and relax for those few days we could. It would have been nice to stay longer but I've realised that I'd rather be home, well and in the comfort of my home/friends/family than to suffer (as it would have just made the holiday uncomfortable and pointless). There is always time to visit Kefalonia again in the future and I'll continue to work so I can afford trips with my boyfriend, and we'll carry on travelling the world at our own pace. It's difficult to get caught up with social media and the panic of time passing but we all hit stages of our lives at different times and we need to remember that just because someone else is travelling around the world, plastering it over Instagram, it doesn't mean they are having the best of times. It was killing me when people were commenting on my photos saying 'you look like you're having the best time' when my mental health was so low. It's important to know that social media is a controlled version of someone's reality, we should never compare how we feel, look or what we do to someone's photograph.

Sorry that this post was a little bit ramble-y but I feel like I had a lot of things to get off my chest and to sort of explain how I was feeling. I hope you can all stick around for what's to come as I have lots of exciting collaborations and posts coming your way. Also, feel free to subscribe to my vlog channel to hear about what actually happened whilst I was away because the video is going up at the same time as this blog post. Hope you are all doing well and living your best lives. Feel free to email or DM me on any social media if you want to reach out to someone when you're feeling low. I'm always happy to chat to you and help you out as much as I can, you are never alone!

Greece Vlog 1 
Greece Vlog 2
Why I Came Home Early

Have you ever been in a difficult situation where you've had to put your mental health first? 

Lots of love